the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize