I just made out with a guy for $7.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
