maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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