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KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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