I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I want to make a zoo with you.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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