do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
