I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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