I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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