Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize