I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So vagazzling was a success
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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