Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry kjones15 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"

Fav 45 4277 1414
share tweet
(618): View more from Illinois

Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.

Fav 12 2815 1182
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(864): View more from South Carolina

her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes

Fav 9 2072 4394
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

No more Irish car bombs ever.

Fav 12 3273 1461
share tweet
(315): View more from New York

can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...

Fav 7 908 4440
share tweet
(707): View more from California

I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.

Fav 26 1622 5051
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(941): View more from Florida

how did the keg end up in the top bunk?

Fav 11 3041 984
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(619): View more from California

I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.

Fav 1 971 641
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(515): View more from Iowa

bonus check + party bus = big hot mess

Fav 0 29 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT