Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
