the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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