do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
