My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
