I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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