I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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