omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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