I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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