Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I bet he comes in French.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
