You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
