Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
