to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Randomize
