You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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