Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
