Don't you send me to vm
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
