boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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