she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
