I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
