I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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