That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have aggressive nipples.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
These tits shall not be calmed
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize