I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
