New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Randomize
