Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
