I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
