I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
