He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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