Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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