That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
