O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
