Where is the hickey?
I am spending my child support on dildos
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
