i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize