Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
