That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
