physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
