So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
