that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
