Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
