Only a mothe r could love this liver
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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