I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
