I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
