she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize