No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
