Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
