So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize