I wanna passion pit in your ass
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
