We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
