we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
