they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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