i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
