call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
