I look better un-naked...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I know her cup size but not her name....
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
