garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
