I have demons in me.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
