I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Im part way to drunk.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
